Hello everyone I’m Jess and I’m here to help spread awareness and help anyone else struggling with the day to day struggles of what it’s like to live with Anxiety and Depression.
For as long as I can remember I have always struggled with anxiety and with that comes panic attacks. My panic attacks can be anything from an upset stomach and feeling nauseous to not being able to breathe chest tight, sweating, vomiting and feeling completely out of control. Anxiety for me has become part of my day to day life and something that I have to cope with using techniques that I have picked up along the way. However, recently I have been suffering badly from depression with thoughts that completely consume me and this is something that has terrified me. I have been struggling with this for about a year now, however recently decided to take a trip to my local doctor to source some help on how to deal with the symptoms that I was experiencing.
What Anxiety and Depression feels like to me:
It feels like questions,
It feels like it’s forever flowing through my veins and into my head where it stays and tells me things that make my heart pound and my palms sweat.
It makes me tap loudly and breath quickly.
It makes me feel sick so sick that my body rejects itself and allows the anxiety to take over.
It feels like pain and hurt and problems.
It feels like relationships are false and the words that I hear are meaningless and spiteful.
It feels like a hole.
A dark hole that consumes me a hole that swallows me from the inside.
It feels like a false smile.
It feels like tears falling when everything is okay.
It feels like talking to you and losing concentration cause the only thing I can hear is the voice in my head telling me I’m stupid, or some part of me is repulsing you.
It looks like I am happy,
It looks like I’ve got it all figured out,
It looks like I understand
It looks like I’m confident
It doesn’t always look like that.
Sometimes it looks like someone has taken away my lungs,
Sometimes it looks like I’m sweating,
Sometimes it sounds like foul language and arguments, mean comments and I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.
Anxiety and Depression feel different to everyone but to me it is all consuming and scary. What we have to remember is that them feelings are only temporary you will not feel that way forever and being able to understand them feelings makes you one step closer to becoming stronger.
I will be posting more about how I deal with my own personal experience and how to cope day to day each week.
Have a happy and positive day xxxx