It just be like that sometimes….

Looking back on what I’ve become, I try to accept all my flaws, all the mistakes that I have made. I understand that life is a journey. I know that living in a small bubble will never allow me to achieve my dreams and that fear is just a really warped form of excitement. If you never push the boundaries, you will stay in the same place.

When I meet people for the first time, I like to imagine them in an invisible box. Some people break free of the box straight away, but others need a little help to climb out of the box or maybe just to simply open the door. We tend to feel trapped by our lives when we all have the ability to change if we really want to. People say you cannot change the person that you are; that’s your character. Does that make the way that Criminals act, part of their character? Do people act a certain way because it’s in their DNA? We all have a choice. You either let your past affect you and re-write history all over again, or you wake up and make a change. We can all learn, the smartest people in the world are all still learning, they don’t just stop because the world thinks they’ve peaked. Be the change you want to see in the world, support all of the small business’, wake up every morning and check in on a friend, make it your mission to check in on one person a day. Smile at a stranger on the tube, creep people out, one day someone will smile back, and you never know, you could have made their day. Make a joke with the guy in the queue, could be the love of your life, sing at any given opportunity (who cares if you’re a bad singer) it will make somebody smile. In a world where depression is so common, isn’t it time we all started spreading joy, let us be as happy as they are in the movies, what’s stopping us?

Remember we all feel those same emotions, we all feel like the world gets too much sometimes. Life would be boring if it was simple, so just laugh at the problems. I believe we all have the power to make a change, I’m not capable of changing the world single-handedly but if this post gives someone the courage to try something new, or motivates someone to push themselves then I’ve made a tiny impact on the world. Hopefully, my tiny impact will start a ripple effect of others trying to spread the same love and positivity as me.

How not to live your life

I went for dinner earlier with a friend and she told me that due to stress her hair was falling out (yes I did laugh) across the room from us was one of our friends and she was sitting there so content with her family, her baby and partner and we realised how tragic and unadult we really are. so here is my guide on how not to live your life.

1. Don’t leave something you love for something you like.

2. Don’t date your co-workers.

3. Don’t chase people.

4. Don’t give oxygen to people that can already breathe.

5. Don’t try to edit your life so much that you lose yourself.

6. Don’t allow others to change the way you see yourself.

7. Don’t break yourself to fix someone else.

8. Don’t expect love, love is inevitable.

9. Don’t hurt people you love, because you’re angry with yourself.

10. Don’t eat cake because you’re sad. Just eat cake. Cake doesn’t need that negativity in its life.

Dear all of you

Dear the people I love,

To my mum you have raised me and help me grow into the confident, outgoing woman that I am today. To my dad you taught me how to love everybody even if they break you. To Chloe, you taught me how to know self love and be independent. Tom you taught me that it’s okay to be different and to love yourself always. Freddie you show me that confidence is key, and that being you is the only person you can be so own it.

To Lucy and Devon, thank you for loving me even when I was not very loveable. To Hannah thank you for listening even when I told you 5000000 times about my problems, thank you for loving me unconditionally everyday.

To all of my friends, thank you everyday for showing me how much you care and spreading love. I am grateful to you. To my gym family, thank you for being there when you don’t have to be, thank you for the hellos that felt like we had known each other forever. The love from you lot made me feel so confident in myself.

My colleagues, how I love you, you make my heart so full and I miss you all dearly, you are everything that is right with the world.

Thank you to every person that has entered my life, I don’t believe you can ever send out hate to anyone, love and love strong. Be you and be confident in who you are.

To me you are pretty cool you know and I love you.

Thank you to every single person in my life my heart is so full right now, you honestly have changed my life so much ❤️

Surround yourself with positivity

Last year was very negative for me, I was in a relationship that was extremely toxic and my life just seemed to take turns that I couldn’t control, I felt entirely worthless and completely broken. I was lucky enough to have people around me that felt like sunshine. People that allowed me to stay strong and control those impossible demons that controlled every thought. They shared my burden and to everyone one of them I will be forever grateful.

This bank holiday weekend I wish I could bottle it up and open it whenever I feel like life is getting to much. I’ve spent time with people that have most amazing energy and have truly made me happy.

Surround yourself with positivity, I am so grateful to every person in my life right now. You all make everyday so much brighter for me. I’m excited for life again!

Thank u, next

So I met this guy let’s call him Kyle,

Id been speaking to him for quite a while.

He was everything that I’d dreamed about,

Until I went down his phone and found him out.

So he panicked and got down on one knee,

I said yes, oh yipee.

So let’s fast forward 2 years down the line,

Turns out for murder I’d get less time.

One of our mates, he was having a baby,

So I left poor Kyle with a maybe?

So it’s a fortnight later and I’m feeling a bit blue,

I make a call to Kyle, with an apology or two.

I had to leave him all by him self,

So now there’s me back on the shelf.

Well it didn’t take long and I’m dating his mate,

For arguments sake let’s call him Nate.

Well what a load of drama that turned out to be,

Arguement after arguement, never him, always me.

So the drama continues and now it’s all done,

What a different person I’ve become.

I’ve hit rock bottom, and I’ve fallen down,

But in the end I’ll wear the crown.

So remember your self worth, and carry a smile,

And if you’re sad, Ben and Jerry is down the frozen isle.

Take a moment

Just stop. Breathe. Focus. Reconnect. Open your mind. Smile. Appreciate. Learn.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Make time for yourself. For your mental health. Your happiness. Your well-being.

Isn’t dating weird

So for the first time in my adult life I am single. Before this Tinder, bumble, Hinge etc weren’t even a thing, how did it get to this point. Literally within half a second I’m judging someone based on the way that they look, deciding whether or not I would like to match with them, and if I do, the conversation is flatter than my arse.

What ever happened to meeting people organically. The problem with these apps is, you can be talking to someone, go on a date and then. Bam. Ghosted. They fall flat off the face of the earth. I understand I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, My personality is probably more than a lot of people can handle. But still. Seriously. You have to actually explain to each other that you are exclusive so that the other person deletes these apps. Honestly this world is insane.

These last few months I have met some right characters. I had one date and the guy wouldn’t leave (note to self: never let someone in your house on a first date) then asked my mum if she wanted to make a cake. I had another one where on a first date they introduced me as their girlfriend to people and they were constantly calling, texting, messaging and I just couldn’t catch a break literally blocked them from every single platform I had. I’m starting to lose trust in men altogether if I’m honest.

But seriously what is this world of dating, it’s all so strange to me. I think I’ll stick to Netflix and ice cream from now on.