Isn’t dating weird

So for the first time in my adult life I am single. Before this Tinder, bumble, Hinge etc weren’t even a thing, how did it get to this point. Literally within half a second I’m judging someone based on the way that they look, deciding whether or not I would like to match with them, and if I do, the conversation is flatter than my arse.

What ever happened to meeting people organically. The problem with these apps is, you can be talking to someone, go on a date and then. Bam. Ghosted. They fall flat off the face of the earth. I understand I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, My personality is probably more than a lot of people can handle. But still. Seriously. You have to actually explain to each other that you are exclusive so that the other person deletes these apps. Honestly this world is insane.

These last few months I have met some right characters. I had one date and the guy wouldn’t leave (note to self: never let someone in your house on a first date) then asked my mum if she wanted to make a cake. I had another one where on a first date they introduced me as their girlfriend to people and they were constantly calling, texting, messaging and I just couldn’t catch a break literally blocked them from every single platform I had. I’m starting to lose trust in men altogether if I’m honest.

But seriously what is this world of dating, it’s all so strange to me. I think I’ll stick to Netflix and ice cream from now on.

Reading into it 😏

Ever got one of them texts and you over analyse till you go crazy? And then it turns out they are actually gay or married with 12 kids and you thought they were the one? Yeah well get the hell over it. Stop reading into things, people lie, people say things that make people think they are good people. Don’t misread simple conversations. If I’ve learnt anything it’s that you should take everything at face value and if it turns out different then that’s a bonus, if not oh well. You are worth so much more than undertones. If they fancy you they will tell you. Don’t obsess over the ‘hey girl’ texts. He meant hey girl. Not hey girl come here and love me. Love yourself first and if they love you then fab if not, you’re a rockstar anyways who cares. Sometimes we think we need validation from someone to feel our best selfs, you don’t. You need to look in the mirror and say ‘baby girl you are amazing and everyday you get better and better and nobody’s ever gonna be as into you as you are’. Wake up tomorrow with the attitude that you are the best thing in your damn life and enjoy every single second of being yourself.

Men suffer too

This past week the tragic news of Mike Thalassitis broke and to hear that he had been suffering with his mental health really struck me. From the outside looking in Mike seems like a happy go lucky lad with everything going for him, yet inside it was turmoil. We hear lots of women speaking out about how they are suffering with anxiety etc and this seems completely normal. However, we expect men to be strong, we expect them to be a man and to be our protectors. Society these days has created a stigma around men’s mental health, and how if a man is suffering it is seen as weak. A man suffering with their mental health and speaking about it is not weak, it’s strong and brave.

I encourage every single man that feels like they are suffering to speak out, and encourage their friends to do the same. Girls we will always pick up the phone to check up on our bestie, pick up that phone and ring the men in your life. And boys check up on the lads, drop them a text, invite them out for a pint and just chat. Sometimes one conversation can save someone’s life.

Imagine someone was sitting on top of a bridge about to jump off and end their life. Would you walk past and pretend that it wasn’t happening? Or would you stop and encourage that person to get down and give them the help that they need? The majority of us would stop. So when you’re mate seems quieter than usual don’t ignore it, ask them the question ‘hows things?’ You could be that person that makes them realise it’s not so bad.

Please just check in, drop a text, pick up the phone, we spend endless hours on social media, take a minute out of that just to send that message.

And please, if anyone needs someone to talk to just drop me a DM on insta and I’ll try to brighten your day xxxxxxxx

A positive perspective

It hurts

It’s making me stronger

It’s not going to end

Everything ends, this is temporary

They hate me

They are busy, calm down and breath.

They don’t understand

Explain it in a different way, relate to them.

It’s never going to get better

It will get better, nothing is bad all of the time .

Sometimes our brains instantly think of the negative in a situation. When you next get a thought that’s intrusive and self demeaning, replace it with with a positive, or a more constructive sentence in your head. Eventually your mind will start to think of the positives as a default. Don’t ever give up being nice to yourself! You are the centre of your own world and you need to protect it.

International women’s day

It’s that time of year again where all women unite, and come together to build a army of fierce, powerful, determined girls!.. females are brave. We will not be silenced. Our voices and actions will raise daughters with the rights to speak their minds, and conquer the world.

Not all women will break world records, not all women will want to be CEO. However, all women believe the same, that they are worth being heard, that their voices after years of being oppressed will be listened to. I used to believe that if you was given a seed, it was inevitable that it would grow into a flower, it would blossom and all its beauty would shine, but the truth is, that seed might not get enough sun light, and it might never be watered, so it will never have the tools to allow it to bloom. Sometimes we need someone there to just give us a helping hand, so remember whether you’re a woman or a man, we need each other, we need that love and that passion but sometimes we just need a shoulder to cry on. Spread love everyday and bloom together.

Timings

Sometimes finding what you want isn’t about searching for it. Have you ever had an account full of money, gone shopping and you can’t find anything you like. Yet when you are completely broke you see everything you want? That’s because the pressures off , your mind is more open to want something if there is a smaller probability that you can actually have it. It’s all about timing, when you’re ready, when all of those stars align and what you had been searching for isn’t dominating your thoughts, that’s when it will happen. Stay positive, stay focused on your dreams and everything will just fall into place around that. Who doesn’t want to be loved? It’s an amazing feeling, but work on you first. Let the world work and I promise that it will come.

A diamond is just a rock under pressure

Coming out the other side of certainly the worst year of my life so far, I reflect. I look back on the paths I could have taken and I wonder if that would have led me to my desired destination quicker? Or would it have been a long way round, finding who I really am? Sometimes the destination we desire is far from where we hoped it would be. Other times it simply isn’t even what we expect. I thought what I wanted was to be married, moved out happily with kids by the time I was 20. Yet here I am, 25, single, living in a 2 bed flat with my sister. I’m still clubbing every weekend and I tell you what I’ve found my happiness; In belly laughing till 4 in the morning with people I adore, I’ve found it in my best friend holding my hand every step of the way and being the soul reason I wake up in the morning with the hope that there is good in the world. I’ve found it in new friends that I feel like I’ve known a lifetime. I found that peace in myself just by being able to decide what I want to do. Life isn’t always about chasing the rainbow its about finding that pot of gold in the back of a cave in the middle of the night. Life isn’t a fairytale, it’s a mystery that one day we’ll look back on and figure it all out..wouldn’t it be boring if we knew the ending was we married some stuck up, pretty boy prince. Darling if you put a rock under pressure it will become a diamond. So let the rain pour down on you when you’ve just straightned your hair, life happens. Let it be.